A new year

Next week I will turn 28 years old. Usually in the past I have freaked out about my up coming birthdays. I would get really down on myself about how nothing much had really changed in the previous 12 months. Normally I am in the same place as I was at my previous birthday.

On my birthday I use to make promises to myself about how this year is going to be different, how the next 12 months arent going to be like the previous 12 months. No matter how many promises I make to myself or how many goals I set for myself, the next 12 months always end up being the same as the previous.

This year is different. I'm not freaking out about turning 28, knowing that in 2 short years I will be 30. Instead this time I'm celebrating that the next 12 months really will be different. I am loosing weight for the first time in a number of years. I feel differently about life. I'm not so scared to try different things, before my weight would hold me back, but more than anything the fear of not succeeding or not being accepted for my decisions has held me back. Having lapband surgery has taught me that I am in control of my own life & my feelings. No one can make me feel like a failure except for myself. If I want to try something new because it interests me then I should instead of worrying about how other people will react or whether I will look fat doing something.

This time next year I will be a better person. I feel like for the first time I have control over my own life. I'm not just coasting through life hoping that something will happen to put me on the right path. Its up to me to take control & steer myself onto the right path.

I feel so much lighter & more positive than I have for a LONG LONG LONG time.

I like this feeling.